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Tag: guestwriter

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Written by nutritiousthoughtsblog on . Posted in Body Image.

En lieu of Valentine’s Day and with love on the mind, we thought to follow suite with February’s blog theme in a post about self love.

Except, we won’t be talking about self love.

Instead, we’re going to re-frame “self love” as “self acceptance.” Why? Hopefully the answer will be evident by the end of this blog post. In short: we don’t need to love every single thing about ourselves. That’d be unrealistic. A losing battle. Instead, making peace with our bodies through acceptance not only lifts a weight off our shoulders, but brings power through embracing uniqueness and diversity.

Merima Dervović is a public speaker and wheelchair user born with spina bifida. In her 2018 Ted Talk, Merima explains her body image difficulties and struggles with acceptance. She also shares her realization that while she doesn’t choose to love her condition, she chooses to embody her sexuality, her identity, her personality, etc. Merima identifies three steps in her path toward self acceptance. In this blog, we highlight, describe and expand on these steps.

Step 1: Acceptance means truth. “And that’s a truth that society now needs more than ever. The majority of you are not in my position, but you don’t have to be in a wheelchair to inspire change in the world. You just have to get comfortable with your imperfections, wherever those imperfections may be.” In other words, acknowledgement. Acknowledge YOU, all parts that make you, YOU. This includes parts you may believe to be flawed, less-than, imperfect to a societal-imposed standard. This blog frames self acceptance from a body image perspective, but the message is also applicable with respect to mental and emotional parts of our character as well. The first step to awareness is to acknowledge your truths.

Step 2: Become shameless. This step involves taking your power back. Now that we’ve identified our ‘flaws’ in step 1, let’s own them. Being shameless means speaking your mind and allowing yourself to be [and feel] who you truly are – completely and fully. You have all the right in the world to not fit in and still feel good about yourself.

Be more shameless by using the art of ignoring things. Merima challenges us to: “Take all the shame imposed by others, look at it, and just let it go. What has helped me navigate the world is the art of ignoring things – glances and comments from others, etc. The truth is, people will hardly ever change. You will always encounter people that will judge you, stare at you, and make you feel like you won’t fit in. The good thing is that we can change the perceptions that we have about ourselves.”

Step 3: Detach yourself with compassion. The key to this step is to switch the perspective that you have about yourself, focusing less about the things that you DON’T like about yourself, and instead emphasizing the things that you DO like.

“Acceptance is a process. You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Every change is uneasy. But once you follow through with the process, you will find that most of your fears are inside of your head. They are not real. Commit to compassion day by day. Energy is put into compassion just as energy is put into self-loathing – choosing one over the other is the challenge.”

Imperfection is the key to self-acceptance. You have to own your body from the roots of your hair to the toenails in your feet. You may not particularly like those hair roots or toenails (or other bodily feature in-between), but they are yours. Every flaw carries its own story, own uniqueness. They truly are what makes you, YOU! We don’t have to love our flaws, but simply acknowledging and accepting them allows our mind to feel content – and dare I say, empowered?

*This month’s blog post was developed and written by: Emma McVey, Dietetic Intern with University of Northern Colorado

Don’t Give It All Away

Written by nutritiousthoughtsblog on . Posted in Self Care.

Hello, Everyone!

This month we are breaking up the holiday chatter (but also…Happy Holidays!) to share with you all a candid, quite raw rendition of one’s experience of navigating relationships in recovery and traversing the journey of healing from co-dependency.  We love this timeless reminder that no matter what type of relationships we are fostering at the moment, we must always hold space for ourselves, nurture ourselves, and remain present with ourselves.

This piece was gifted by an Anonymous Recovery Warrior.

To my sister-

There will be someone that promises you the life you’ve always imagined having.  Constant, unwavering assurances of safety, security, and happiness will dance from their lips, forming the most entrancing, tempting ballet.  They will do it all right, and I mean everything.  From flowers, love notes, and elegant dinners to warm embraces and kisses as soft as the clouds.  These are all beautiful things to treasure, but love, don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that snatches your attention so violently and abruptly that they send you spinning into a whirlpool of your own thoughts.  For a while you’ll think you’re drowning in that perfect something.  You’ll immerse yourself in their cool, refreshing pool in an attempt to cleanse yourself, but please promise to stay where your feet can touch the bottom.  The deep end is colder, darker than you’d expect it to be- every time.   Darling, try to keep that beautiful head above the water.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that you love to hate.  They will be your flame, you will be their gasoline.  You will pour your body over them like hot, melted wax just begging for a shape to take.  You will sugar yourself until they deem you the sweetest candy they have ever tasted.  You’ll surrender to the fire.  Passion is part of the game, but sissy, don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that changes your life.  You’ll think, speak, act, and do things differently than ever before.  You’ll set this new you into motion with a force so strong you’ll convince everyone you’ve had a revelation.  Your mind will shift, your attitudes will be altered, your dispositions will transform. Old habits will die, new ones will be born.  Perspective is powerful and changes are good, but look before you leap, baby.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that makes themselves your project.  They will latch on, and you will mother their insecurities.  You’ll stroke their fragile ego.  You will find yourself cleaning up the foul waste of their childlike outbursts, uncontrolled and unpredictable.  You’ll wipe the floor of their mess and your tears of exhaustion, sanitize with affection, and you’ll wait for the next explosion.  You’ll hope that these nightmarish times will pass and that like the flu, it will get worse before it gets better.  My sister, I am here to tell you that there will always be another explosion, always another mess that will keep you on your knees.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone you love.  You’ll know it when you know it.  Your head will turn to them, and you’ll meet each other on an even playing field.  You’ll overlook things that are slightly inconvenient to preserve the pleasure of being a pair.  You’ll share yourself with them and they will reciprocate.  You’ll want them feverishly and vehemently.  You’ll experience compromise.  You’ll sacrifice genuinely but my god- don’t ever give it all away.

You see, there will always be someone.  There will always be high highs and low lows but whatever you do, don’t give it all away.  Don’t give all of yourself.  Don’t drain yourself dry.  Don’t burn yourself until the wick disappears.  Not ever.  If you ever take a piece of my advice, please let it be this one.  Leave some of you for you, no matter what.